11/24/15 CD25

I'm still trying to figure out if I'm 5 or 6 days past ovulation. This month was kind of hard because I didn't get that stabbing pain that let's me know, yep....egg(s) released! Normally it's a debilitating pain that leaves no room for interpretation. I almost wondered if it actually happened. I did get a temperature rise, but it was less significant than last month.

Since I'm only about one cycle into this, I'm not even sure that's all accurate from last month though. And in the cycles before, I've always had some sort of symptom, even when there were only in my head. I haven't really had that this time. I almost feel as if nothing is going on at all down there. Some very, very mild cramps started today, but they just feel like a muted version of the normal post ovulation cramps. I attribute that to the lack of pain searing ovulation this month. Last month I was SURE conception had occurred because I had all the symptoms. And some of those weren't in my head, such as the breakouts and the XXXL boobs.

I'm coming up on the half way point until the next cycle starts and just now starting to get antsy. I haven't tested yet and hope to hold out until at least this weekend. Thanksgiving and all the black Friday shopping should help keep my mind occupied.

11/19/15

Today is one of those days where I wish I could just sit home and watch Netflix on the couch! Ugh, the sharp pains started yesterday so I know ovulation is coming. Usually it comes within 12 hours of the pain starting, but I guess my body is into some torture this month because it's still going on. Even though I had the positive OPK on Tuesday night and all day yesterday, I went ahead and did another test this morning. It is still positive.

 My temperature went up almost .4 degrees this morning (.38 from yesterday), so I know it's getting close.

Did I mention I have a multi hour meeting late this morning? Yeah, I assume that's when this will hit me. Never mind me.....unable to breathe because of the pain....yep, I can totally see that happening. In the last couple of cycles, I've only had about a 12 hours LH surge. I don't know what the deal is, but I'm closing in on the 36 hour mark. Not complaining though....I know this has to happen to get pregnant!

11/18/15 CD19

So I may have reached a new level of obsession. Instead of trying to view my BBT charts on the Glow app, I made an Excel spreadsheet and a graph from the data.

Since I'm still trying to figure out this whole temping thing, I figure this should help me understand in familiar terms. From my chart, I think my baseline is around 97.5. I had a one off peak above that, but I really think that's due to my lack of temping experience and I probably either didn't get enough sleep or I had already been up to go to the bathroom. On the bright side, I started getting nearly positive OPKs last night! Yay! I did another one first thing this morning and it was nearly positive too. Those were using the Wondfos. Today I'm going to test using the Blue Cross strips. They seem to be easier to read for OPK. I don't think I've ever had a absolutely clearly positive Wondfo OPK, but the BlueCROSS ones are very, very clear. I'll probably test around lunch time today and again this evening, just to feed my POAS addiction. I generally know when I ovulate because wow...serious pain. But I'm glad I am temping this cycle too.

11/17/15 CD18

So my goals for last week were fairly ambitious, but doable. I didn't quite accomplish them, but I made progress.

1. Exercise every morning for at least 20 minutes. Wednesday probably won't happen since I'm off work, but I still have 4 days to work with

Well, I managed to do 3 days and I did 25 or 30 minutes on those three days. So in the end, I still ended up with close to 80 minutes, which was the total goal of last week. We'll call that accomplished. 

2. Go to the gym for a full workout at least 3 times this week.

I went twice--Monday and Friday. Goal not accomplished.

3. Limit dessert to 2 times this week, including sweet snacks. 

Having candy in the house made this one impossible. I just do not have the willpower. 


I'm a day late, but ready to set goals for this week: 

1. Exercise 3 mornings and 3 full workouts at the gym
Status: Monday morning and Monday evening at the gym complete

2. Limit dessert to 2 times this week, including sweet snacks. 
Status: made microwave cookie last night. One dessert left of the week

3. Increase vegetables and decrease carbs--limit grains to 1 serving per meal.
Status: 
Monday
Breakfast: flatout wrap with bananas and peanut butter
Lunch:stir fry with chicken and veggies and jasmine rice
Dinner: Beef stew with whole wheat biscuit, salad

Tuesday
Breakfast: flatout wrap with bananas and peanut butter, skinny venti peppermint mocha
Lunch: salad, beef stew with whole wheat biscuit
Dinner Plan: something with chicken, arugula, kale, salad? 


Today is CD18, which means I should be ovulating in a couple of days. the OPKs are still negative, but I expect them to start increasing this afternoon. 

11/13/15 CD14

This month had been going fairly well. I wasn't really obsessing over everything like I have been the last few cycles. I know I have about six more days until I should ovulate, but I still test every afternoon (and sometimes again...and even again in the evening). So obviously no positive OPKs yet. This month I'm also doing BBT for the entire cycle, more or less. Weekends aren't always possible. It's hard to really see the whole picture here, but the first day I did my temps was 2 days after ovulation, so I missed the rise of the last cycle, but I do at least have something to work with this cycle.

I had managed to stay off the pregnancy boards for a few weeks, but I fell back into the black hole yesterday and got caught up on the message boards. I've seen several positives from the groups I stalk, so it's nice to feel some hope. At the same time, it is also a bit depressing because I feel like all I do is wait for a negative. It's also been hard to get in the mood this cycle. I've really had to force myself to have sex every other day. I guess it's good I still have a few more days before I really hit my fertile window. Maybe by then I'll have found my sex drive! I think a big part of the problem is all the symptoms I had last time. I really thought last month was going to be the month. I had so many symptoms and I was sure it was either because of a huge spike in progesterone or I was pregnant. But when I saw the progesterone level was even lower than it was on 100 mg clomid and all the negative pregnancy tests, I just felt deflated.

11/12/15 CD13

Some days I have a hard time putting what I'm feeling/thinking into words. Today is one of those days. But somehow I came across this post, which says all those words for me. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nika-c-beamon/coping-with-the-monthly-reminder-that-im-not-a-mom_b_8538668.html

11/9/15 CD10

I'm really not sure how I made it to CD10 already. I feel like this month is moving really fast! I'm not going to complain about it, but it's just so different feeling. It's been really hard to be positive lately. I just keep feeling like it's never going to happen for me. I do think the femara is working a little differently this time. I've had some hot flashes this time, which I know I had last time, but I feel like they are more intense this month. I've also had some really bad irritability-more like what the Clomid did to me. I hope this means that it's going to work a little better, but I'm still having a hard time being positive.

I've got to get myself back into a good routine with food and exercise. I really fell off the wagon several weeks back. I've been eating crappy food and skipping the gym, a lot. I've only worked out a couple of times in the last 3 weeks, which includes the morning cardio. I know that's some of my problem. I would feel a lot better overall if I went back to whole foods and at least 5 workouts a week.

So my goals for this week:

1. Exercise every morning for at least 20 minutes. Wednesday probably won't happen since I'm off work, but I still have 4 days to work with

2. Go to the gym for a full workout at least 3 times this week.

3. Limit dessert to 2 times this week, including sweet snacks.